Babies bring in moments of sheer happiness as well as tough times for new mothers. Motherhood is a blissful experience but becomes stressful when certain vices creep in to reign supreme. As mums we need to shun the 5 vices that sow seeds of emotional turbulence and bring psychological challenges in early childhood experiences of little ones.
Most of us tend to compare the milestones of the little one with that of another baby in the family or neighbourhood. Right from who talks or walks first to physical growth, food choices … Oh! The list seems endless. Just snap out of this competitive trap as its viciousness grows and hampers the naturalness of the little one. With comparison babies lose uniqueness, are groomed to do what others are good at and grow up into under confident and confused individuals.
Pessimism is the symptom of disaster. Babies may suffer from physical disabilities, weak constitution, low immunity or learning challenges. The toughest part is to accept the truth and the ugly realities inherently weaved in them. ‘Why? Why me? Why us?’ plagues the mind and pessimism plays havoc with our family life. Come on, shun pessimism! Yes with mindfulness move on towards solutions, adjustments, professional counselling to create a positive environment that will help you to regain composure and wellness. Fake a smile; it helps! Cry and howl to feel light! Now seek help; it will save you with solutions and best possibilities.
WHINING AND COMPLAINING
Motherhood is divine but in no time it becomes the phase to whine and complain. From ‘My baby doesn’t eat,’ ‘I need to take a break,’ to ‘My husband doesn’t help,’ our mind is full frustrating thoughts. Vanish for a short trip to the nearby market once you see your husband play with the baby and trust him. Let him be a part of your world. Father may be clumsy to begin with but are great fun to be with. Patience will help you realise that challenges also get sorted with a peaceful mind. Practice yoga, meditation and breathing exercises to get rid of a complaining mind.
Do not play doctor to your babies. Motherhood at times gives the false notion that says, ‘I know it all.’ Beware! Prescriptions and medication are not to be borrowed but prescribed by a pediatrician keeping in mind the symptoms, weight and tendencies of different babies.
Be alert yet calm.
Do not become a perfect servant to your babies. Be observant and allow them to practice the natural skills that they attempt to learn. Pulling at laces, holding a spoon, dressing-up self or creating a mess are the little ways in which they learn clumsily to meet natural milestones. Slowly they learn to hold, clutch, eat, drink, choose this and leave-out that, play with toys or simply spend time with their own selves. Let them be for they are learning to be independent by following the silent instructions of nature – the only teacher that doesn’t compare but inspires to do and learn.
At times motherhood is a bumpy ride. Stay strong Mommy and keep calm as you learn to accept challenges of motherhood to move towards solutions and write your success stories to inspire.
‘Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had and dealing with fears you didn’t know existed.’ Linda Wooten