I totally believe in the statement that ‘We meet people for a reason – either it is a blessing or a lesson.’ I guess most of us, do. We meet different kinds of people in the circle of life- some are mere faces, some are memories, some just fade away and some leave a long lasting impact on our lives. When we meet someone, our brain and heart analyzes the characteristics of a person, and tried to decode his/her personality, based on their behaviour and interaction.
We mostly follow the principle of ‘the first impression is the last impression’, when we meet people. Harvard Business School professor, Amy Cuddy reveals that we mostly judge people based on ‘Can I trust them?’ and ‘Can I respect them?’ in the first meeting. Psychologists refer to this as warmth and competence. However, we might not be always right in judging someone, at the very first time.
Our social and personal selves are incomplete without people. So, we ought to deal with different people in our lives, whether we like them or not, in the very first meeting. There are people, who become an integral part of our lives, and are there those, with whom we tend to maintain a superficial relationship. We might want to always interact with light-minded people, but that doesn’t happen always. So, let us take a look at who are these common types of personalities, we all meet in life or deal with them.
The Pokers: These are people, who keep poking their nose into everything you do, keeps pouring their unwanted advises and suggestions. They think that they know everything you do and keeps either distracting you or sometimes, gives some valuable inputs too. They are most present in your workplace or some relative in the family or a particular neighbour.
You, simply, need to ignore them or sometimes, just listen to all they want to say and filter what is required. If you have to deal with one on a daily basis, make sure you confront them once in an amicable way to make them realize that you don’t like too much interference.
The Criticizers: While pokers barge in into your personal space, criticizers will make it their business to pinpoint faults in anything you do. Analyzing your work is good till a point, but when it turns into criticism for the wrong reasons, you need to understand where to stop the person. It can be anyone in the immediate family, or at your workplace or even someone in the friend’s circle.
You need to understand till what point you can take criticism, and then you need to shut them up. Do can do it politely, or re-inforce the facts that you are fine with what you have done. After repeated cues, the person might understand the fact.
The Perfectionists: These are rare people, but if you have one in your life, you might end up in tough situations. They want the best in everything, or think that everything needs to be picture perfect. Well, this is also acceptable to a point, but sometimes adjustment becomes the key. They can be anyone like your spouse or even you, yourself, or your boss. This might become a problem, when such a person is an important person in your life.
I guess, you need to tag along, and try to please a perfectionist till a point. But, if it starts becoming too much for you to handle, you can simply let them know that no one is perfect neither they nor you. You will try to meet their expectations, but you also have limitations.
The Silent Killers: They are the ones, who would have a lot to say to you, but prefers to keep mum and expects you to understand their reaction. They can be really difficult to handle at times because you don’t have a clue what they have in mind. It can be someone close in the family or a friend. I wouldn’t count too many office colleagues in the category.
The key to dealing with these people is to be a bit observant and attentive to their previous behaviour. And, also remember the facts that you cannot please everyone. So, if they are not telling you anyone, let it be. Time is the best healer, and they will gradually express their real feelings.
The Helpers: You probably want more of these people around you. They would help you out of any situation without expecting anything in return. They are your friends, or family members, even a colleague too. It can be your soul mate, who is always by your side. You can talk to them, when you feel low or share your happiness with them. Sometimes, there are people, who bring a smile on your face, even if they are passing through a rough patch.
You need to be good to such people, and support them too, whenever they need you. These are selfless people, and you are lucky to have them in your life. They are precious, and you need to treasure them.
These are probably, just a few examples, but people you meet in life, can be mostly classified under one or more of the above categories. As a matter of fact, every person is unique in their own way. They can have similar traits or personalities, but never the same.
We tend to get stressed many a times, when we are not able to deal with a particular person, or we get so used to or bored with dealing with someone on a daily basis as they become predictable. Both situations are quite common, and we start passing judgments based on this.
My little piece of advice to all readers after this detailed discussion, would be either use humor or light sarcasm to deal with difficult people in our life, and the rest, you know better. Also, you need to ‘ignore’, and ‘not stress’ to keep a healthy and amicable relationship with all. People will come and go, and those who doesn’t matter much, don’t let them mess up your mind.
Hope, you enjoyed reading through. And as the saying goes, ‘You cannot change someone, who doesn’t see an issue in their actions.’