There You Go!

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 There You Go!

It had been almost 5 months since; but Ragini still had a problem with the length of the skirt. She almost limped in her red high heel shoes. Her dark eyes were losing confidence and She was re-checking the buttons of her pink shirt. Even though her brain was stacked with all knowledge that was necessary; she couldn’t concentrate on her work that day. Ragini was easily the best performers among those 25 in the Finance team. However, people regardless of her work paid more attention to her long legs which were half nude down her knees. That nasty environment was distracting Ragini and the girl in her red shoes was getting tired of the filthy looks. Anguish, anger was running high and her self- esteem plummeted. Her soul was in immense pain today as she got captured in the turmoil of her own inner self.

It was the year 2013, 9.00 a.m. on a fine Monday morning; when Ragini made her way through the doors of the prestigious firm. She had been appointed as a finance consultant. The one-line ‘Beauty with the brains’ defined her.  She was a small town girl from Allahabad with long black hair was as dark as ebony. She was fond of her black kohl and her colourful bangles. A happy-go-lucky girl, her multi-colored salwar kameez’s made her look like a gorgeous butterfly who greeted every passing creature with a cheerful smile.

Ragini worked really hard for this firm and it was almost 5 years that she had been a permanent employee. But progress didn’t come her way, and she was never promoted. She found stuck herself in her career though she was one of those skilled employees who provide appropriate value to the organisation. However, she was ignored at the time of promotions. Why?

It was the Year End Review. The manager with the corrupted brain was sitting right in front of her. She decided that it was time to speak up. The manager as usual slyly praised her for the selfless support she lent to the organisation but again denied her the much-deserved promotion. And again many of her slacking colleagues were rewarded. Ragini was stumped, angry and couldn’t stand the apathy. In the past, she had a maintained a solemn silence when she was robbed of the credit that was due, but she was determined to speak up this time.

Summoning courage, she questioned the manager about being pushed to the end of the queue in spite of him praising her. “Have you ever looked at yourself? Will be able to handle our clients that your next role demands?”, The manager asked in a commanding voice. “Yes, I can,” Ragini replied in a soft tone. The manager went on a monologue about the way she presented herself not being up to the mark and how it had to be mended. The way she put herself to the world was not acceptable in the corporate world according to her manager. He also further added that her way of presenting herself
embarrassed him and the whole department in front of clients.

Though she was flabbergasted by these words, she took the feedback positively and went ahead to change herself. And then on a fine day, she entered the office front door in her pink colored skirt with her high black heels. Black fused glass jewellery looked stunning round her neck. Her wrist was brightened by her designer watch. Her long hair got a modified short blunt look and she looked every bit a respectable professional now. The dirty wolves in the office stared her from top to bottom and had a few things to say behind her back. The cunning foxes never got tired flattering her on every occasion. Today she is considered a great professional and no one really cares about her knowledge.

As Ragini sat idle in her lake-facing balcony sipping her morning tea, the realisation hit her, that she had been forced to change her identity. It disturbed her. The idea of changing herself just for the sake of others killed her. She remembered how comfortable she was in her own skin earlier. But now,
mornings were solely about dressing up right for work. She became very conscious of her appearance and the feeling of insecurity engulfed her. She felt really sad for her own decision.  However, she took it in a positive way and thought life has come in a new electric way.

Months passed by, Ragini had evolved beautifully. She had started carrying herself with minimal or no difficulty now. However, today her soul was much more in pain than her soles. The fact of getting changed was all fine with her except the fact of losing love for herself. She was comfortable in her own skin earlier but not now. She hardly felt like herself anymore. In that organisation, one used to get respect by their outer appearance not what they are capable of.  It took for her days to think of her next move. Finally, her mind was cleared from the dreary fog. She drafted a mail and kept it safe that night. She walked confidently to the office next morning and presses the “Send” button followed by a long sigh of relief. This is what the mail said:

Dear Asutosh,

I am writing in order to inform you of my resignation from the post of the Finance consultant. My last day of work will be 13Sep2013.

I would like to express my appreciation for your excellent leadership and counsel during the duration of stay at the Company.I have learned that putting presentation of oneself is very important and hence, I changed myself. However, changing myself I felt quite small in my own
eyes. Thus, thought of leaving this organisation where the outer presentation is valued much more than inner knowledge and intelligence. Please acknowledge this letter of resignation and I will do my utmost to finish the outstanding projects and for a smooth hand over.

Sincerely,

Ragini Mehra

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